I haven't posted since 2022. Since our oldest left her kids on my doorstep. A LOT has changed. I wrote a couple of posts, but I couldn't publish them. So here I am 1.5 years later. It is the end of 2023, and I am reflecting on the past year. It has been another year of many changes, many ups and downs. I mean that is life, right? The two posts I did not publish were about a shift in my thoughts and actions. I felt I needed to set boundaries and put myself first. I can see where those changes have occurred, and I see the peace I have because of those boundaries. Boundaries are hard and confusing to me, never having clear boundaries growing up, I always feel guilt because they seem mean to me. But, I have learned they are necessary in relationships. This past year has been full of so many blessings and so many answers to prayer.
The twins are still not with their mom but are in a great family with lots of people loving on them. We are still blessed to have them in our lives and try and see them whenever we can. My oldest biological graduated high school and has just finished his first semester of college. It was a joy to walk through the changes with him. He is our first to go away to a four year college, and really the first to graduate high school and not feel the need to flee our home. It was quite refreshing, LOL! It was emotional moving him in and driving away, but after the first week, he settled in and it has been smooth! We still have 5 in the home, so life is still crazy busy, but wouldn't trade it. Our second bio son had knee surgery this month and had a "donor" cartilage put in. He is doing great, started PT, non-weight bearing for 6 weeks, then hopefully will get everything strengthened and be back out on the field. He is a junior and we have started looking at colleges for him!
Our 4 girls are 15,14,14 and 8. They are all well, the 15 yo is working at MCD's and is cosmetology at VOTECH. She is not doing well in school, and she almost got fired, however, with her past and trauma, I would say she is doing okay!! Our "twins" Em is in voice and piano and has been committed to those for the past couple of years, and it is really paying off! She is in NJHS and is always getting straight A's! F, well she is my first bio daughter, she is the sassiest kid, lol. She enjoys being active and wants to do track and field again this year. She just needs to get a competitive edge... Bella Bear our last bio, she is spoiled, the youngest of a dozen what can you expect??? She has been in gymnastics off and on for 2 years, but she doesn't really like it, she is not one to exert energy...although she loves swimming! I am signing her up for American Heritage Girls, we will see how she likes that! LOL.
Steve and I? We are enjoying life with no littles, having all the kids be older and independent is refreshing to our souls! Coming out of 18 years dealing with kids with trauma can take it's toll. We are mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted. We are learning how to heal ourselves and recharge!
I am humbled when I think of the past year, all the changes that have happened, and how everything worked out for good. The changes have all been positive, and stressful, but all good! Being deep in prayer through many hard times, God has continually shown up and walked each step with us. He continues to show us grace and mercy. His love is all-encompassing, full of compassion, and full of a peace that can only be found in Him! I pray for all eyes that read this, that you may feel God's love and peace, I pray you will know the truth that is found in Him, let Spirit enter into every organ, every cell, every fiber of your being. Leaning on Him and trusting Him will change you in ways you never could imagine. Father God, I praise your holy name, the name that will heal the name that will save. May all the glory of this fallen world be yours!
