Tuesday, August 2, 2011

WHO AM I?

So here it is the beginning of August, where did the summer go?   At the beginning of summer a friend of mine suggested making a list with the kids of things we would like to do, we have done MOST of the things on the list, knocking two big ones out this weekend, the science center and lynn run!  It has been a completely chaotic summer with all the kiddos here, but it has been enjoyable too. 

On July 15th we got our 3rd foster child, a 16 year old girl.  She has been with us for a couple week and I feellike she has been here so much longer!  She is so sweet and a joy to have in our home.  She has been extremelyhelpful around the house, and I am hoping some of her neatness and organizing rubs off on me.  We were told we can't get anymore foster kids, apparently in the state of PA, 6 kids in a house is the limit..?? Crazy and sort of bittersweet!  I am glad we know where we will be in the next year or so, we can now structure our lives around being a family of 8.  When we first started the foster journey we specified we wanted the ages of 2-5, laughing at that now b/c our first referral was a 1.5 and 8 year old, the perfect fit, and then I said I would not take anyone older than the 9 year old, and God gave us a 16 year old!   What can i say?  sometimes His ways are not our ways, but His ways will ALWAYS be better!  Praising God for His grace and mercies! 

Sometimes I sit back and I look at my life and wonder how did I get here?   I have 6(7) kids under my care!   It has taken me 4 years to realize that being a SAHM is God's plan for me, but often I wonder why?  I don't have a calm gentle spirit, I yell everyday, I am not very good at being therapeutic, sometimes I know I am handling the situation wrong, but just can't seem to stop!  I always doubt that i am doing the things that these kiddos need.  There is no manual on how to do any this, every day I wake up and wing it all by the seat of my pants!  I mean I know God is with me, but it is still me in my sinful nature trying to raise these children up to know our Heavenly Father.  I am so inadequate for the job He has given me, and at the same time I feel so blessed to be called to this!  What greater joy is there in nurturing the heart of a child?  Each one of my blessings is so unique, and needs to be tended to in a special way. I am humbled that God has entrusted me with these little ones, and everyday I seek His guidance on how to do it all right.  I just pray that I hear him right! 

 I feel so closed off from the world lately, i very rarely leave my house for any "fun" adult reason and I really miss my friends, I don't seem to have time for much of anything lately and I know it is irritating for my friends that I always say I can't do something, but packing up all the rugrats is sometimes just too much right now.  Once the babies are older and more self sufficient life will once again get into an easier stage. I just hope I have some friends left at the end.....LOL!    Here is the verse I have been meditating on :

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.


May we all serve the Lord with all our hearts and do so without grumbling or complaining!  

Blessings!