Little F is going to be 5 months old this week, I wonder where did the time go? I am not a big fan of the baby stage, but with her I have enjoyed it immensely. Maybe because she might be my last, maybe because i feel I missed out of B's, maybe b/c God was showing me the beauty of infants. Whatever the reason I am sad to see this time going by so quickly. She is the sweetest little thing, the way she smiles with her whole body when she sees me coming into her room in the am, or when her brothers play with her. I love how she snuggles her head into my chest and sucks her thumb.
Sometimes I sit on the couch and just watch my kids and wonder what I did to deserve such gifts. C is soon to be 5, and it amazes me to see all that he has learned and how he has grown these past 5 years. I see in him such a softness, kindness and sensitivity to everything around him. When he takes a break from playing to run over to his sister and give her the biggest hug and kiss with the words I love you, then runs over to finish playing, my heart melts. I love that he is so gentle and caring towards her. he has such a sweet spirit!
B is a fiery one! The determination, the willfullness, even the blatant defiance to a request I make, allows me to see into his heart. He is not a quiet gentle spirit like his brother, but a go getter, one who thinks and does his own thing. As I watch him, know he will go far later in life with these qualities.
I look at these little beings that God has given me and I am always amazed at the differences in them. I can see how after having such a compliant child with C, how when B came along with his strong willed Independence how a parent could be frustrated. I believe children are a gift from God, and we are to raise them to serve Him. I am reminded how we need to nurture their HEARTS, and encourage their spirits. We are not to smash their spirits, so that they conform and be more like everyone else, so that society approves them. One of the biggest mistakes we can make as parents is to try and change who they are, and to use behavior modification to conform them. We need to focus on changing their hearts, and who they are on the inside. We need to listen to them, and hear their thoughts and ideas, we need to get down on the floor and play with them everyday, to let them know we love them and that we care about them. How many times have they come to me and asked me to play and I say not now, i am doing dishes, or laundary? That will all be here when they are gone, so I try and take the time to play with them everyday and love them unconditionally for who they are.
Children will learn if they come to you and want to talk and you repeatedly say, I am busy....they learn you are not there for them. And then when the teenage years hit, and we want to know what is going on in their lives, they will have been taught to keep it in.
OK, not sure how i got off track, but I am having a sentimental moment on the beauty of my kids, and how precious they are. I hope when they are grown they will have fond and wonderful memories of their childhood,. As I lay with them everynight, I treasure the moments I have with them, I realize that someday, they won't be snuggled all safe in their beds, they will be out on their own, and the nights that i have to kiss them and tell them goodnight face to face will be a thing of the past. I wish I could freeze time sometimes and hold on to these precious days.
